Techniques 2: Interview Boogaloo

I'm ba-aaack, and I've got a couple of extra interview ideas straight from the Pentagon's Enhanced Interrogation Techniques checklist:

1. Your time as an interviewer is important; feel free to reschedule interviews as little as twenty minutes before they were due to take place, even though the interviewee may already have spent the last forty minutes thundering down the motorway at breakneck speed. Never give any reason for the postponement as the fact that you felt like a nap or went to play golf with the CEO is probably company confidential. Feel free to phone the candidate at odd hours of the night, asking them if they can attend a new interview first thing tomorrow morning, then phone them up again at seven o'clock the next morning, asking to reschedule for later that week. Perhaps you might like to forget to phone the candidate for a scheduled telephone interview after you've rescheduled it three times already. Remember, since you already have a job and the candidate presumably doesn't, their time is worthless and they can't possibly have any important family commitments or other business to attend to. Constant rescheduling will show the candidate what an important, dynamic organisation they are trying to join and at no point will they get completely sick of your nonsense and stop taking your calls.

2. As an interviewee, making a good first impression is essential, so a good tip is to not notice that you managed to somehow get ink on your upper lip prior to the interview. This conveys an attitude of eager hard-work and absolutely does not make you look like a pen-sniffing lunatic.

3. One fun trick for interviewers is to work in pairs and sit round a table at such angles that the interviewee cannot keep both of you in their field of view at the same time unless they're Marty Feldman . This will induce a sense of increasing paranoia, along with violent head or neck pains as they desperately flail their heads back and forth to maintain eye-contact.

5. If you are given specific instructions to send the interviewer a text message on arriving at their offices, ensure your mobile phone has credit if it is pay-as-you-go and is properly charged, ideally by leaving it behind, still hooked up to the charger.