In pointless celebrity news, I've noticed that my favourite newspaper columnist Charlie Brooker is getting hitched to alarmingly attractive former Blue Peter presenter Konnie Huq. This is good news both because I like it when people I like have nice things happen to them, but also for me as it boosts my belief that despite looking like a sack of particularly lumpy potatoes, I too might yet lure in a beautiful female type using my sarcastic wit and charm.
If wit and charm fails, I shall try chocolate.
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